this is it

During my college days, me and my friends promised ourselves we would create chaos in cosplay conventions, be part of major events and be an invasion. We never did live to that promise, but it never stopped us from dreaming that our names will go down in history.

September 2015, Over countless events I have been to, from Ozine, Otaku Expo, Fatasm, Animax Carnival, Dutdutan XIV, Best of Anime, Nexcon and now the Asia Pop Comic Con 2015. I have been a geek all my life, growing up to my brother's comic book collections, to watching cartoons growing up, playing Magic the Gathering with my peers, now, I am living the dream. And now I can really stop and slow down and see where now? what now?

Alice Chang, Asia Pop Comic con  2015

APCC 2015 was close as I can get to attending international conventions, without a passport, leaving the country and facing jet lag, it was a euphoria, that I hope I can be part of staff and the community someday. Seeing celebrities face to face, to seeing adults with childlike hearts, to kids dressing up as their heroes, and being a goof, and that's okay... I got to talk to staff, see media fly by before once me again, to see Instagram idols, and seeing where my favorite comic book artist sat and signed stuff, I cannot get over the feeling the high. 

Tatiana Galas, Best of Anime 2015

BOA, Best of Anime 2015 was milestone for me, I am nearly getting to my 2 year mark of doing cosplay photography, and yet I have to learn more, from lighting, strobing, and properly photo editing - I feel I am still a toddler, walking, and soon I will be running for more. But sadly, I will be putting an end to covering small events, as  I try to focus on larger events, and someday brave and handle weddings, and to focus back where I started, and why I began shooting in the first place, it would really give me some time to think - do I need to do more? why I'm doing this? is this what I really want?

A lot of things has to face as new challenges arises, new photographers are out there, better than I am, versus one creepy photographer, I lost my team, I lost my daughter, I lost a muse, I lost my sanity - I got to continue fighting, despite all the negativity that has brought me down, I go to face the music, face the shadows, and keep doing my best. I have pulled myself out from Dutdutan XV,

but i hope it doesn't stop me to keep on swimming.

My brand hasn't settled yet, it's slowly getting a pace and kick from the south, I can only hope and just pray to the heavens, for a rain of endless opportunities for me to swim on.

7am too early

It’s past 7 AM, I hear my baby niece crying, she shrieks and cries in terror, to what, I will never know. August left in a hurry, and to me it’s already the second week of September and a lot has happened since I left my last entry. These were my highlights:

The South Cosplay group I am forming is slowly getting together, and I learned the value of who to trust amongst the people who volunteered their time to. It took much of discernment and sheer gut to find people who are willing to do all things to make things work, but I do hope in time – the South Cosplay community would be widely recognized, and a force to reckon on events to come, and by which not a community to Cosplay, but more to various of interests.

Maria Garcia, Sillykonpeito

Learning my lesson that to never to do back to back photo shoots, I slapped myself again in getting to one again. The Asylum’s House of Dolls: Rainy Season Edition was a success, with the weather played to make the most interesting of shots, and got to meet a new fellow photographer. The more makes me interested in pulling of a photo face-off. But I am thankful for the likes of friends from the South who helped in and bothered really to spend time to be as my models, the likes of Ghelianne Li and Belle Montesclaros and my in-house model Maria Garcia.

M'Belle Montesclaros, The House of Dolls
Rainy Season Edition

A lot of events happened in this shoot, one my models were in the area, didn’t bother to get my number showed up and ended up to having a shoot of her own. The other, lost her wallet on the way to the event. It’s sad that these things happen or I didn’t want to put my models in danger, but they happened. Funny thing, that Maria also lost some big bucks too, on the course of the shoot, she dropped a Ninoy somewhere, and whoever picked that up, is lucky to treat themselves to the restaurants nearby.

I am thankful and fortunate that the BGCMYCITY.COM was able to help me publish what I need, despite pushing the shoots due to uncooperative weather, model schedules and my procrastination. I was about to cancel but by God’s grace, I said to heck to laziness and it’s now or never for me.

The following day, I was brought to a venue that filled with possibilities the River Walk of Alabang which I will nickname it as the Wildlife of the South is really something. I can imagine this to be the new haven for photographers like me doing all shoots less the equipment. But mainly the purpose of me being there is do a shoot of Kiseki no Sedai, which translates to The Generation of Miracles. It’s a basketball drama, anime, which I am more familiar with Slam Dunk than this one. So pulling of shots in a park is hard to do since they were mostly men, and I have to be honest, this is the first time to do a shoot filled with testosterone.

Finding poses were tough, finding angles were tough, and more so I had two ladies. But I am grateful that Tatiana Galas was able to step up to the fold, being my apprentice for the day. She made me smile and help kept my composure, and even bothered to chill with me. Cute, right?

Tatiana Galas, The Asylum's Apprentice

It ended me being so tired, but when it came to editing it was just utterly hell. From 7am of Saturday, the week thereafter my shoot until 9PM the next day I had to stick to my promises, finishing up and squeezing into my deadline. Of uploading crops, fixing lighting and moods, it was just goddamn worth it.

I barley squeezed my work with pretty much less of an allowance. But thankfully I was able to get to where I needed, now here comes September, It will be a flurry of being in getting tickets to Asia Pop Comic Con, and agreed myself to be Best of Anime, the day thereafter. Followed by a week in Dutdutan XV, the Philippine Tattoo Convention, which I promised myself I won’t stay long. It’s just a week away, if August left in a dash, I can’t believe the September is hurrying up.

Am I ready? I don’t know but I can only tell once I stepped on the floor and start snapping away. Until then, I will post here a new set of highlights or lows.

rise and fall

It's September 14, and my worries has sunk to  a new level - after writing my manifesto and a clear direction to what The Asylum has to offer, slowly people, whom I consider friends, and staff, slowly drop off.

Yes The Asylum foundation is slowly crumbling, that each key member with no apparent reason, just want to go their own separate way. Now I can't stop them, there is no contract binding them, and we don't get paid on my sanctioned photo shoots. I always believed doing what you love, makes you keep coming back - well I guess it's all about money or their own selfish reasons, connoting not in a negative way.

It's these things, that cause some disheartening in my end, Did I fail as leader?

Just not so long ago my Hair and Make-up artist, had some qualms thinking she would be fired, when she over assumed a topic about her, when it fact was a mere feedback process we want to give her since she is affiliating herself with different groups and trying to be a key figure in the group. Followed by a small rift with my graphics artist, whom I consider almost like my little sister - to the point and gave up. Getting her back was not easy, and just to make it worse, her laptop broke down where our photos are held now in limbo, with a almost a month of projects and hard work waiting to be done.

I have delayed myself for a long period of time - September, I conclude was not a good one.

As of date, I have lost my Stylist and Co-Casting Director, two of whom which are best in the industry who pivoted so much ideas, and impact to the group, and the direction as to where it's going, boils down back to me, Did I fail as leader? I could not help but think, is it my fault, on how I my work ethic is too much like a slave driver - that all I want is to achiever near perfect execution,. How does Donald Trump do it?

September is here, I just have to end it right, if it means the rise and fall of my group, or just the core key players holding on, which is me, my partner and key model, for better or worse now.

Now this September I have no lined up shoots since my original model left for Singapore, in which our theme for the month was artistic nudes, now that it was scrapped out, I am focusing my time in going to events such as Dutdutan 2014 - Tattoo Convention, and people who are thinking, I do plan to have one, and Best of Anime, with it's controversial No Ticket, No Entry policy which to some extent has been clarified or possibly listed for now. Both held this coming weekend for which I am coming in a Saturday, and ending on a Sunday - comes Monday with aches and pains - what you must do for what you love.

Starting Next month,  I will be putting my signature on my blogs, I think it looks cool, and thinking of considering migrating my photos from Facebook to Square Space - so much plans and hopefully October's shoot I can pull of the Freakshow, with no venue to pull, and wardrobe to get it going, we will wait and see of what can I come out with. I will also be taking part of my first Yukata-Kimono gathering, wondering of what I'd look like.

For now I will just stare profusely on these.... Hoping for the best despite the chaos....