music, photos and leaving it all...

My mood is kind of mellow at the moment, that to put The Asylum on hold after a good run of 10 months, I have to find some other groove to get going.

Winah Lacanilao, Dutdutan 14

I cannot explain or simply put to words as to why  I am semi-retiring, maybe the best things or how people view this, is I had enough bulk to handle on my own now. 

To be honest, I can fake that I am really doing well, but I just need to take a time off.  But because I am doing so much now, I got people telling me to look long and hard the life I was living and helped me realize the coping mechanism I built after my depression isn't working.

Running a team that is slowly dispersing, is much a sad thing, and that could be one of the many reasons.

During the last few months, I really felt the wear and tear and seeing my slowly team go,  as they say people have their reasons, I will just simply leave it at that. And the supposed coping mechanism to alleviate me from my long term sadness, felt I really need to deserve a proper break. It' s been tough and I couldn't keep pushing myself the way I have anymore, it really felt I am going drop down to the pavement, If I didn't kept going. So in a couple of weeks, I will embark the largest shoot that I will be hosting, my last shoot. So many models invited, cosplayers, and friends alike, to this once in a lifetime for me to shoot them at their very best.

Nickhers Concepcion, Memoirs

After which, I am taking a longer, much needed break, to rebuild what is left of me and The Asylum, and to work this out long term, despite my new schedule change at my regular day job, I really need the time figure a way to make it out through this.

I have been working on improving photos and studying new techniques during this time off, to be better at my craft, something that will not be taken from me, and even though I will be out for quite some time, there will be a whole new The Asylum and me, once I get out and live to get crazy again, when we do return.

I like to thank the following people who helped me got to this level of success: Honey, Tiarra, Kirky, Ronan, Aly, Yuki, Rhosa, to my TACOS (The Asylum Cosplay Otaku Society) girls - Nhal, Alice, Angel, and June, The Faculin Sisters - Karen, Kitty and Keshia, the MTP models - Eyra, Marg, Kim, Joycee, and Cristelle, and Cosplay friends such as Angel, and other people I bump into this events, to Gayle and Winah, to Dutdutan 2015, and last my to my three beautiful children who keeps me sane - Xanthe, Nickhers and Prances.

Foremost to the people who left The Asylum, without you we wouldn't go this far, Shen, Shyra, and Mitch.

Thank you for sharing these 10 months, Until we reopen our gates again.

Paul Andrew Jurilla, The Asylum

roads to anxiety: in prep for the memoirs shoot

It' August 25, 2:26PM, I know I should be sleeping by now, in preparation for my normal job, I can't help but think and be anxious for this coming weekend's photo shoot. The concept is quite simple, do a geisha shoot and get over with, but I left with so much anxieties, that anything could happen, a normal butterflies in my stomach kind of feeling... I guess.

This will be the first time I would peg a cosplayer against a tenured model, my very first Fashion Face-Off Challenge, in which putting different people in the industry to one shoot. It's a concept, that the model would surely win but given with the people whom I paired, it's like guessing who would win Top Model with the final best photo.

Memoirs, The Asylum 

I have paired of with someone who has been in the modelling industry since a kid, literally, doing SM Kids, and accomplished so much more since then, she became consultant and trainer to future models, and continuing to get go-sees and contracts left and right. She has done a lot for her age, and she is also a sub-talent for a local channel here. I have pitted her against a cosplayer, respected, revered "Trap", or crossdresser.  She is in rank and known as much as the famous Alodia, she has been interviewed, posed, for several local Otaku magazines, she is also a fan favorite, due to the poll I posted recently, she is also created so much haters, because the number of insecure people envious of her almost flawless beauty. She is also tenured for her age, continuing to prove herself.

I admit this is unique, but each of them have flaws, one has to be taught how to pose before the shoot, the other, the photographer being me, may not keep up, both of whom I spoke, are both intimidated of each other, on how they are nervous for this event, and their nervousness and anxiety carries over me.

I have pretty much prepared for this shoot, gathering budget, looking for kimonos, make-up and gathering experts for this, looking for the right location, and knowing what I want for the my post-editing.

But nonetheless, let's just break a heel.

If you're peeps wondering, why the issue is early, I may be pegging my blog to come out bimonthly, 2 entries in one month, to keep off the lag. Anyhow, that's all for now.