come back

It’s been a while since I wrote something in my blog. I have been busy, as in really busy – I haven’t gone to conventions like I used to. The shifts and demands of a normal work life, requires me to focus, and even more so since I have been gone from work for more than a month.

It was not so long ago, I was diagnosed with a respiratory ailment known as pneumonia, I had a hard time breathing back then, I spent up wheezing and coughing like a dog while spending my vacation on the beaches of Boracay. I was with my ex back then, and when I got back home from my vacation I immediately saw a doctor. Coughing out pools of blood was not a pretty site, and having your ex, or my girlfriend that time worry. The doctor gave me two options, bed rest or hospital confinement, I chose the approach of staying home. Fast forward 4 years later, I should have chose to stay at the hospital, my pneumonia caused a big scar, a rip or a wound in my lungs. Which never much healed back then, it stayed dormant, waiting for it to rupture. Thank you for pollution and work stress and over staying at the sleeping quarters of the office plus my allergies, helped caused the wear and tear, or maybe it’s me catching my niece’s pneumonia, whichever is which both caused me to cough immensely to this date.

Angelica Loon, Okun Fiesta

Yhu Mei, Lolita Season 2

I did attend some a con during my time off, and did one shoot, at the least, all to divert me away from my work stress. Shooting with a surgical face mask, was a bother, because I had to peel it off just for me to cough up phlegm or blood. I lost much weight but my hunger would fight back. I wouldn’t know.

Today was supposed to be the day that I have my final check up, only that my doctor cancelled. There goes an unscheduled leave, unpaid go to waste.

A lot has happened in my life, working on a food business, which is debut next year, if I am still lucky to be the business partner to this. Aside from being sick, I just celebrated my folks’ 50^th anniversary, hooray for them, my mom is so thrilled *sarcasm*, and there is where I inherited my humor. We had mostly steaks, and mom’s salad. Good meal. A month ago, we as a family suffered a loss as I lost my aunt in her fight against the dread ills of liver failure and poor management of the insurance in the U.S. She was an aunt that everyone loved, just like my sister before she passed on, she was the giving aunt and she was the aunt who was hip and fire to every reunion when she visits back here in the country. It was a grim July, more so but we feel that life had to move on, so my dad tries to do so. It was also the successful launch Of Baguio Edition, of The Asylum thanks to hands of Rina Riz.

As we approach the middle of August, I am preparing myself for my shoot this September, in which I pray it hopefully becomes successful and my shoot in November, in which I pray that I push through as I have a lot in plan. I can’t give much details except I am working every detail by the note, which is unusual for me to do since I like working on the fly, spontaneous was always my weapon of choice, and come what may was its bullet. Now, I want tarps, posters, ad placements, the whole works and etc. I just want people to experience an “event” like no other.

Good for me, a lot has happened.

Anyhow, this maybe one of my long entries… a good write, and it is good to be back.  I will be writing more, once I have something to work on. Until then stay tuned!

a new year spares no casualities

It’s been a while since I wrote a personal piece in which a lot has happened this 2015 – what began through rediscovering who I am in my father’s homeland, finding strength in family to a homecoming of a series of events… I have lessened myself in doing my own themed shoots, only of which I have piloted successfully on my own are my May Ink, Lolita and Rainy Day shoots. In place I had made myself active in various events from being an opening act for Nexcon 2 to a wandering geek at Asia Pop Comic Con, being a media partner for Asia Cosplay Meets Philippines, and made a statement for dress to impress in Fantasy Quest 4. I also established myself being part of the Baguio community, thus I made a name, a brand and its taking its baby steps to baby walks – I am getting there. Last December I was supposed to end it with a bang with End of Days – sadly got cancelled out with the number of participants I had, which wasn’t substantial to cover the day. I made myself suffer to going to Ozine which was chaotic as usual. It was no fun as I had few shots because I was mainly exhausted by just going in and out of the convention. And that pretty sums up 2015, fun, chaotic, wet and wild.

This 2016 I am going back to what I do best, which is just focusing on fashion and cosplay shoots that I can handle – and being active only to major events. There is a lot to reflect on for this 2016 – and I guess my resolution for the year is simply, Keeping my mouth shut more, Really make things work, and Leave expectations behind me for less disappointment but foremost my biggest resolution is to got stop acting desperate. Lately my loneliness has gotten much worse, and worse is subscribing back myself in Tinder in hope for love. I got clicks there and then – but I still long for that physical connection. I guess my desperation of wanting a partner in life, is making me crazy. The every wanting thoughts of marriage, church bells and having a child of my own is clouding my thoughts – and the insults of my office are going to my head. I did have my regrets, the past relationships I have had who made me who I am is no rash insult to wanting more in life. Relationships goals pop up here and there, the days become colder, I hope for only things to get better.

What happens now? I got to keep continuing being positive, got to keep on surviving by being better than I was before. I shouldn’t dwell much on things I cannot control. Come what may, was always been my motto, but this time, take charge and not hesitate, will be something I shall live by. So 2016 give me the best, and I will take charge and do the rest.

life redux

A crazy month of June has passed, and a 2^nd week of July is slowly creeping its way in, and yet I have been busy like spending quality time with my mom, and shooting at Toycon, now I am working on a little fund raiser, my first Lolita con, The Asylum: Lolita, in which of the funds I will be collecting goes to my mom, in helping lessen our expenses to pay for chemotherapy or for her personal use.

Vincent Austria, Toycon PH 2015

I am not expecting much from the fund raiser, despite having 40 confirmed, majority of which I will be meeting for the first time, and some I have worked before in my shoots, and to some I have shot just only in conventions, I am just quite anxious or a bit nervous to see the attendance in reality and how I will deal with a large scale crowd, working with another photographer that I haven’t heard of. I didn’t do much of a background check, but I pray that none of my attendees will be harmed or be harassed.

I am looking forward for three events this year – the first Asia Pop Comic Con, which is to be held in Manila, which I guess the biggest event that there is, followed by my first Fantasy Quest, which is their fourth season, and lastly Dutdutan XV: the Philippine Tattoo Convention, I am still undecided in attending other events this year but then I would rather focus on my small shoots as I will be taking a hiatus from large scale ones. Someone once said I should go back to the basics – to really take time shooting my model in which I would be doing. I will be working from former models of mine to colleagues at work, in which we will be shooting in different locations that I never dared myself going myself to – such as the La Loma Cemetery, the Diplomat Hotel, Clark Air Base Hospital – known amongst the haunted places in the country, to pushing my model’s limits in a Calvin Klein inspired photo shoot to FHM style.

Yup I am evolving my photo skills a little, pushing myself to face my fears to do what I don’t usually do which is to go beyond cosplay, and fashion shoots to more risky, and dramatic shoots. I hope all goes well, and to come what may, hope for the best – I look forward to see things unfold as time goes by, and maybe just maybe I will hit my big break that I am looking for.