misjudged

"All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once. Am I right? You had a bad day and everything changed." - Joker

I want to thank all the people who shown their support through prayers, kinds words of strength and just being at my side at the loneliest times. You made me feel that I can go through this, and it means all so much to me, and the good news is that my mom went through her operation successfully - and part of my worries are over.

The reason for my blog is that I am getting bad reputation on my decisions, I turned down two assignments to cover events, one of which a colleague's grandmother's birthday, in which the directions were not clear on the onset, in my understanding that the host will cover for my transportation and my expenses just to get there, meaning that I will join them, be picked by the host and be brought to the site in which I will cover the event, but this was not the case - it appears I was told I need to take the bus, to a far off place, in which find the location myself, thus I felt my rate was under compensated since I would be carrying equipment that I need to help me cover the event, and I felt that my safety is a risk, more so the equipment, and I felt the pay will not cover for any loss or damages. I gave my reason, 2 days prior to the event - and I felt I stabbed the client by the back. On my second turned down assignment was from a friend of whom I shall not name, in respect of reputation - due to some personal issues that may cause some clashes, I chose to back out two weeks prior to the event, and now I was called upon being unprofessional. I know that personal issues, is would be a petty excuse, but my worries is filing the leave given the event is scheduled on a my regular work day has a high rate of being denied because I have no valid excuse to deliver, and that is why I prefer covering shoots on my day-offs, and I'm better off using my leaves for something important such as my mother's chemotherapy sessions.

Not all people will understand and  immediately judge me for being picky on my assignments or the person affected on personal issues however before I take any assignment - I have to see to it I get home safe, given that I'm the youngest in the family, and I don't worry my senior citizen parents, more so my mother who is still recovering her ordeal with cancer, next, is that I am well compensated should anything happen to me, or my equipment, since after all I am heavily dependent on this to keep me alive, I so sure don't want anything to happen to my babies. Lastly, I see to it that when I do cancel the assignment, I let you know ahead, but bear I cancel them for a very good reason.

I know down the line, I would be hearing more boos, and less recommendations from The Asylum, I will guess I have to take this as a challenge - I guess I am having a bad day, but I realize, as long I still see my mom is still smiling knowing she can count on me being there for her as her youngest son, I rather spend the time for her than a hobby that takes me away from her presence. So mom, I know I should be out doing something to help pay your bills, but I rather be at your side, so we can go through this together. Happy Mother's Day!.