a new year spares no casualities

It’s been a while since I wrote a personal piece in which a lot has happened this 2015 – what began through rediscovering who I am in my father’s homeland, finding strength in family to a homecoming of a series of events… I have lessened myself in doing my own themed shoots, only of which I have piloted successfully on my own are my May Ink, Lolita and Rainy Day shoots. In place I had made myself active in various events from being an opening act for Nexcon 2 to a wandering geek at Asia Pop Comic Con, being a media partner for Asia Cosplay Meets Philippines, and made a statement for dress to impress in Fantasy Quest 4. I also established myself being part of the Baguio community, thus I made a name, a brand and its taking its baby steps to baby walks – I am getting there. Last December I was supposed to end it with a bang with End of Days – sadly got cancelled out with the number of participants I had, which wasn’t substantial to cover the day. I made myself suffer to going to Ozine which was chaotic as usual. It was no fun as I had few shots because I was mainly exhausted by just going in and out of the convention. And that pretty sums up 2015, fun, chaotic, wet and wild.

This 2016 I am going back to what I do best, which is just focusing on fashion and cosplay shoots that I can handle – and being active only to major events. There is a lot to reflect on for this 2016 – and I guess my resolution for the year is simply, Keeping my mouth shut more, Really make things work, and Leave expectations behind me for less disappointment but foremost my biggest resolution is to got stop acting desperate. Lately my loneliness has gotten much worse, and worse is subscribing back myself in Tinder in hope for love. I got clicks there and then – but I still long for that physical connection. I guess my desperation of wanting a partner in life, is making me crazy. The every wanting thoughts of marriage, church bells and having a child of my own is clouding my thoughts – and the insults of my office are going to my head. I did have my regrets, the past relationships I have had who made me who I am is no rash insult to wanting more in life. Relationships goals pop up here and there, the days become colder, I hope for only things to get better.

What happens now? I got to keep continuing being positive, got to keep on surviving by being better than I was before. I shouldn’t dwell much on things I cannot control. Come what may, was always been my motto, but this time, take charge and not hesitate, will be something I shall live by. So 2016 give me the best, and I will take charge and do the rest.

this is it

During my college days, me and my friends promised ourselves we would create chaos in cosplay conventions, be part of major events and be an invasion. We never did live to that promise, but it never stopped us from dreaming that our names will go down in history.

September 2015, Over countless events I have been to, from Ozine, Otaku Expo, Fatasm, Animax Carnival, Dutdutan XIV, Best of Anime, Nexcon and now the Asia Pop Comic Con 2015. I have been a geek all my life, growing up to my brother's comic book collections, to watching cartoons growing up, playing Magic the Gathering with my peers, now, I am living the dream. And now I can really stop and slow down and see where now? what now?

Alice Chang, Asia Pop Comic con  2015

APCC 2015 was close as I can get to attending international conventions, without a passport, leaving the country and facing jet lag, it was a euphoria, that I hope I can be part of staff and the community someday. Seeing celebrities face to face, to seeing adults with childlike hearts, to kids dressing up as their heroes, and being a goof, and that's okay... I got to talk to staff, see media fly by before once me again, to see Instagram idols, and seeing where my favorite comic book artist sat and signed stuff, I cannot get over the feeling the high. 

Tatiana Galas, Best of Anime 2015

BOA, Best of Anime 2015 was milestone for me, I am nearly getting to my 2 year mark of doing cosplay photography, and yet I have to learn more, from lighting, strobing, and properly photo editing - I feel I am still a toddler, walking, and soon I will be running for more. But sadly, I will be putting an end to covering small events, as  I try to focus on larger events, and someday brave and handle weddings, and to focus back where I started, and why I began shooting in the first place, it would really give me some time to think - do I need to do more? why I'm doing this? is this what I really want?

A lot of things has to face as new challenges arises, new photographers are out there, better than I am, versus one creepy photographer, I lost my team, I lost my daughter, I lost a muse, I lost my sanity - I got to continue fighting, despite all the negativity that has brought me down, I go to face the music, face the shadows, and keep doing my best. I have pulled myself out from Dutdutan XV,

but i hope it doesn't stop me to keep on swimming.

My brand hasn't settled yet, it's slowly getting a pace and kick from the south, I can only hope and just pray to the heavens, for a rain of endless opportunities for me to swim on.

7am too early

It’s past 7 AM, I hear my baby niece crying, she shrieks and cries in terror, to what, I will never know. August left in a hurry, and to me it’s already the second week of September and a lot has happened since I left my last entry. These were my highlights:

The South Cosplay group I am forming is slowly getting together, and I learned the value of who to trust amongst the people who volunteered their time to. It took much of discernment and sheer gut to find people who are willing to do all things to make things work, but I do hope in time – the South Cosplay community would be widely recognized, and a force to reckon on events to come, and by which not a community to Cosplay, but more to various of interests.

Maria Garcia, Sillykonpeito

Learning my lesson that to never to do back to back photo shoots, I slapped myself again in getting to one again. The Asylum’s House of Dolls: Rainy Season Edition was a success, with the weather played to make the most interesting of shots, and got to meet a new fellow photographer. The more makes me interested in pulling of a photo face-off. But I am thankful for the likes of friends from the South who helped in and bothered really to spend time to be as my models, the likes of Ghelianne Li and Belle Montesclaros and my in-house model Maria Garcia.

M'Belle Montesclaros, The House of Dolls
Rainy Season Edition

A lot of events happened in this shoot, one my models were in the area, didn’t bother to get my number showed up and ended up to having a shoot of her own. The other, lost her wallet on the way to the event. It’s sad that these things happen or I didn’t want to put my models in danger, but they happened. Funny thing, that Maria also lost some big bucks too, on the course of the shoot, she dropped a Ninoy somewhere, and whoever picked that up, is lucky to treat themselves to the restaurants nearby.

I am thankful and fortunate that the BGCMYCITY.COM was able to help me publish what I need, despite pushing the shoots due to uncooperative weather, model schedules and my procrastination. I was about to cancel but by God’s grace, I said to heck to laziness and it’s now or never for me.

The following day, I was brought to a venue that filled with possibilities the River Walk of Alabang which I will nickname it as the Wildlife of the South is really something. I can imagine this to be the new haven for photographers like me doing all shoots less the equipment. But mainly the purpose of me being there is do a shoot of Kiseki no Sedai, which translates to The Generation of Miracles. It’s a basketball drama, anime, which I am more familiar with Slam Dunk than this one. So pulling of shots in a park is hard to do since they were mostly men, and I have to be honest, this is the first time to do a shoot filled with testosterone.

Finding poses were tough, finding angles were tough, and more so I had two ladies. But I am grateful that Tatiana Galas was able to step up to the fold, being my apprentice for the day. She made me smile and help kept my composure, and even bothered to chill with me. Cute, right?

Tatiana Galas, The Asylum's Apprentice

It ended me being so tired, but when it came to editing it was just utterly hell. From 7am of Saturday, the week thereafter my shoot until 9PM the next day I had to stick to my promises, finishing up and squeezing into my deadline. Of uploading crops, fixing lighting and moods, it was just goddamn worth it.

I barley squeezed my work with pretty much less of an allowance. But thankfully I was able to get to where I needed, now here comes September, It will be a flurry of being in getting tickets to Asia Pop Comic Con, and agreed myself to be Best of Anime, the day thereafter. Followed by a week in Dutdutan XV, the Philippine Tattoo Convention, which I promised myself I won’t stay long. It’s just a week away, if August left in a dash, I can’t believe the September is hurrying up.

Am I ready? I don’t know but I can only tell once I stepped on the floor and start snapping away. Until then, I will post here a new set of highlights or lows.