a new year spares no casualities

It’s been a while since I wrote a personal piece in which a lot has happened this 2015 – what began through rediscovering who I am in my father’s homeland, finding strength in family to a homecoming of a series of events… I have lessened myself in doing my own themed shoots, only of which I have piloted successfully on my own are my May Ink, Lolita and Rainy Day shoots. In place I had made myself active in various events from being an opening act for Nexcon 2 to a wandering geek at Asia Pop Comic Con, being a media partner for Asia Cosplay Meets Philippines, and made a statement for dress to impress in Fantasy Quest 4. I also established myself being part of the Baguio community, thus I made a name, a brand and its taking its baby steps to baby walks – I am getting there. Last December I was supposed to end it with a bang with End of Days – sadly got cancelled out with the number of participants I had, which wasn’t substantial to cover the day. I made myself suffer to going to Ozine which was chaotic as usual. It was no fun as I had few shots because I was mainly exhausted by just going in and out of the convention. And that pretty sums up 2015, fun, chaotic, wet and wild.

This 2016 I am going back to what I do best, which is just focusing on fashion and cosplay shoots that I can handle – and being active only to major events. There is a lot to reflect on for this 2016 – and I guess my resolution for the year is simply, Keeping my mouth shut more, Really make things work, and Leave expectations behind me for less disappointment but foremost my biggest resolution is to got stop acting desperate. Lately my loneliness has gotten much worse, and worse is subscribing back myself in Tinder in hope for love. I got clicks there and then – but I still long for that physical connection. I guess my desperation of wanting a partner in life, is making me crazy. The every wanting thoughts of marriage, church bells and having a child of my own is clouding my thoughts – and the insults of my office are going to my head. I did have my regrets, the past relationships I have had who made me who I am is no rash insult to wanting more in life. Relationships goals pop up here and there, the days become colder, I hope for only things to get better.

What happens now? I got to keep continuing being positive, got to keep on surviving by being better than I was before. I shouldn’t dwell much on things I cannot control. Come what may, was always been my motto, but this time, take charge and not hesitate, will be something I shall live by. So 2016 give me the best, and I will take charge and do the rest.

three conventions and a delayed photoshoot

It has been pretty a long time since I wrote something in my blog, and I still feel the falling out from a colleague who helped me get to where I am at. A lot has happened over the course of the month itself, tragic or joy – thankful that I got through. May, was a busy month, where I was able to attend three cosplay conventions from Saturday to Sunday to the end of the month, and tried to pull off a photo shoot in the same but got delayed due to unforeseen things.

 I never realized how much the month of may drained me, that to this very day I still felt never so tired – never again will I do something like this but down the line I had fun.

April, O-Kun Fiesto

Nica, Nexcon

Shion Goddess, Animax

On the 16^th of May I attended the O-Kun Fiesta which was held in the SMX of SM Mall of Asia, sad to say the event pretty much disappointed me, in which I felt the event proper felt flat – I got bored right away where I took a few shots and left home early. Maybe it was the crowd that got to me or maybe it was the lack of sleep, which I think I had only 3 hours of – I came in to see two of my daughters, April and Yuriko, and did a small shoot with some friends that I knew who were present in the area. I was pretty much convinced that I will not go the event the day after which was Nex Con, but sure enough with a few tugs from Vincent aka No-face and Nica, I surprised myself by boarding the cab heading out to the function rooms of SM Aura. With all the cosplay events I have attended, I have never gone to something that felt organized and clean with Nex Con. Though the cosplayers wore western influenced characters such as the likes of TV series the Game of Thrones to Lord of the Rings to DC Comics characters – it was fun. More so that Vincent and I helped opened the 2^nd day to the event with  a game called Face Palm the Music, in which we had to guess the theme or song by face palming a human buzzer. I lost by one, because we had to spin around before buzzing… I lost to “Mortal Kombat”.  And my friends, this is how I humiliated myself with loads of people, but I can't stop smiling from then on.  I had a number of shots, from shooting a gang load of Daenarys attacking a Tyrell, to seeing the New 52 Joker harassing a Batman mannequin, to bumping in person the famous Jin and Tadashi cosplayers, and scream my lungs out on a Lip Synch battle in support of people who I just met. I went home late with a smile as oppose to O-kun.

The very next week I had to go to BGC for a photo shoot I organized with inked friends, unfortunately I had to postpone due to having one of my models not feeling so well that day. I was pretty much tired, I didn’t want to go to any other events until my officemate the cosplayer, Shion Goddess pushed me to attending Animax which was on the 31^st of May. To be honest, I never wanted to go and support Alodia events because I felt cheated on overpriced tickets and felt it was not worth m time – but it was Shion Goddess’ return, I had to pay my respects and help get her career going – thinking nothing could top the experience and fun I had with Nex Con, the event of Animax was rather almost as par, same chaos though, but meeting colleagues like my idol Sir Christian Mack, seeing my old model Ysa, meeting up with Cjaze and others I had a decent amount of fun. From the cheesy lanyard I got from the ticket to laughing my ass off seeing Shion Goddess try to grab a soda, and ended up almost half an hour or so because the fanatics just can’t stop admiring and take a shoot of her, to having mysef just chilling and having a good time without stressing myself too much.

Maybe I should keep on having this mentality of not stressing myself too much on the next cosplay events – and just really feel and rock the vibe of people and meet new friends. I am ever grateful to all of the time I have had – it helped me overcome the depression I had along the way, especially dealing with my Mom’s cancer and work performance blues… I hope the momentum keeps on going.