the game has changed

It's been two months since I last wrote something, and my sincerest apologies for not informing everyone of my whereabouts. It is one of those moments, where one's pure thoughts has become more quiet, where nothing comes out thus my creative or lust for writing just stopped.

Yuri Nanami, Sin City

With these two months I was able to reflect, and took time off, It was also on February I took time to do Sin City, A photo shoot meant for the All Star Traps of Cosplay, to those who are the uninitiated to this term, Traps are cross dressers, they are not gender benders, they are the transgender community of Cosplay. Traps came from the Star Wars verse "It's a Trap!", which lead to also the feeling your talking to a beautiful goddess but instead your talking to a dude.

I have nothing against the transgender community, I even wrote love advice in my other other blog, Black Out Love. Moving forward, what lead to a heavy preparation, that lead to lot's of last minute replacements, from 6 of whom I called for a casting call, I had to settle for two who showed up for the shoot, and a make-up artist who is fairly new to my wing. Nonetheless, it was a good shoot, it was something that I have to get used to, A creative nightmare - rust, I haven't done a fashion themed shoot since November. I was thankful with the models who showed up, luckily it was my Cosplay daughter Nickhers Concepcion, who is familiar on how I do things and a new comer to the fashion scene but eager to learn, Yuri Nanami. All have opposite styles and takes - One is sweet, and the other, the rebel. And this rebel nearly got me into trouble, because we got looks and stares from crowds  - dissing her, and tossing all sort of rudeness - thus I can say Bonifacio Global City is a homophobic crowd - in insulting way. Yuri, flung her middle finger to the jeers, but I had to keep my cool. Thankfully I had Angie, my other Cosplay daughter, was my backup photographer,  was also able to keep me sane, and I am pretty much  still in awe with her skills,  she took spectacular shots - impressive.

Thanks to Kex Puerto

It was a good February, that leads me to some of my shoots in K-Pub BBQ, just for an office gathering, it was Rewards and Recognition for our department, it's been a while for half a year I have been working for that Line of Business, I took a decent good number of shots by the street, with co-workers and the insides of the pub.

March was a tumbling month, of highs and lows, my depression sort of came back but took me a while to fight back and get back on my feet, I missed out by not attending the Tamashii Con, and TagCom, since I was up in Baguio with someone in doing a Fifty Shades of Gray themed shoot, - and yes it was a porn to remember. and I also was able to meet some cool photographers while doing some shots in Camp John Hay, and learned the growing Cosplay Baguio community, in which got me excited when I go up again. I managed to host a reunion on the last week of March, with former PinoyExchange members, people whom rocked the Internet in the early 2000's, it was my way to meet friends of way back when, people who I viewed, were the pioneers of Social media, it was there also I got to meet my online crush - sweetKay... Of the 12 who confirmed via Facebook, slid down to 3 came - crush was there and the other 2 with their respective wives,and children. We had dinner at Omakase in Ayala Triangle -  there it was a time for us to have Sushi and Tempura, and had lot's of catch up.

Me and sweetkay of Life is Kulayful,Post Pex Dinner

So... Good bye March! Good Evening April! There's a lot of things to look forward to lately, and just to announce - I think I may found my significant other - which I do hope leads to a promising future, the other side is that my work life is thrown back to the graveyard, Hello! The Working Dead. I also look forward to attending the up coming con before the end of April, and hope I can push my shoot titled Inked! before the motnh ends, a casual shoot with my inked or tattooed friends, and colleagues of mine at work place.

It's 6:28 PM, and I am close to dinner time, hope to write more soon, and honestly, it feels good to write again. 

music, photos and leaving it all...

My mood is kind of mellow at the moment, that to put The Asylum on hold after a good run of 10 months, I have to find some other groove to get going.

Winah Lacanilao, Dutdutan 14

I cannot explain or simply put to words as to why  I am semi-retiring, maybe the best things or how people view this, is I had enough bulk to handle on my own now. 

To be honest, I can fake that I am really doing well, but I just need to take a time off.  But because I am doing so much now, I got people telling me to look long and hard the life I was living and helped me realize the coping mechanism I built after my depression isn't working.

Running a team that is slowly dispersing, is much a sad thing, and that could be one of the many reasons.

During the last few months, I really felt the wear and tear and seeing my slowly team go,  as they say people have their reasons, I will just simply leave it at that. And the supposed coping mechanism to alleviate me from my long term sadness, felt I really need to deserve a proper break. It' s been tough and I couldn't keep pushing myself the way I have anymore, it really felt I am going drop down to the pavement, If I didn't kept going. So in a couple of weeks, I will embark the largest shoot that I will be hosting, my last shoot. So many models invited, cosplayers, and friends alike, to this once in a lifetime for me to shoot them at their very best.

Nickhers Concepcion, Memoirs

After which, I am taking a longer, much needed break, to rebuild what is left of me and The Asylum, and to work this out long term, despite my new schedule change at my regular day job, I really need the time figure a way to make it out through this.

I have been working on improving photos and studying new techniques during this time off, to be better at my craft, something that will not be taken from me, and even though I will be out for quite some time, there will be a whole new The Asylum and me, once I get out and live to get crazy again, when we do return.

I like to thank the following people who helped me got to this level of success: Honey, Tiarra, Kirky, Ronan, Aly, Yuki, Rhosa, to my TACOS (The Asylum Cosplay Otaku Society) girls - Nhal, Alice, Angel, and June, The Faculin Sisters - Karen, Kitty and Keshia, the MTP models - Eyra, Marg, Kim, Joycee, and Cristelle, and Cosplay friends such as Angel, and other people I bump into this events, to Gayle and Winah, to Dutdutan 2015, and last my to my three beautiful children who keeps me sane - Xanthe, Nickhers and Prances.

Foremost to the people who left The Asylum, without you we wouldn't go this far, Shen, Shyra, and Mitch.

Thank you for sharing these 10 months, Until we reopen our gates again.

Paul Andrew Jurilla, The Asylum

roads to anxiety: in prep for the memoirs shoot

It' August 25, 2:26PM, I know I should be sleeping by now, in preparation for my normal job, I can't help but think and be anxious for this coming weekend's photo shoot. The concept is quite simple, do a geisha shoot and get over with, but I left with so much anxieties, that anything could happen, a normal butterflies in my stomach kind of feeling... I guess.

This will be the first time I would peg a cosplayer against a tenured model, my very first Fashion Face-Off Challenge, in which putting different people in the industry to one shoot. It's a concept, that the model would surely win but given with the people whom I paired, it's like guessing who would win Top Model with the final best photo.

Memoirs, The Asylum 

I have paired of with someone who has been in the modelling industry since a kid, literally, doing SM Kids, and accomplished so much more since then, she became consultant and trainer to future models, and continuing to get go-sees and contracts left and right. She has done a lot for her age, and she is also a sub-talent for a local channel here. I have pitted her against a cosplayer, respected, revered "Trap", or crossdresser.  She is in rank and known as much as the famous Alodia, she has been interviewed, posed, for several local Otaku magazines, she is also a fan favorite, due to the poll I posted recently, she is also created so much haters, because the number of insecure people envious of her almost flawless beauty. She is also tenured for her age, continuing to prove herself.

I admit this is unique, but each of them have flaws, one has to be taught how to pose before the shoot, the other, the photographer being me, may not keep up, both of whom I spoke, are both intimidated of each other, on how they are nervous for this event, and their nervousness and anxiety carries over me.

I have pretty much prepared for this shoot, gathering budget, looking for kimonos, make-up and gathering experts for this, looking for the right location, and knowing what I want for the my post-editing.

But nonetheless, let's just break a heel.

If you're peeps wondering, why the issue is early, I may be pegging my blog to come out bimonthly, 2 entries in one month, to keep off the lag. Anyhow, that's all for now.