rise and fall

It's September 14, and my worries has sunk to  a new level - after writing my manifesto and a clear direction to what The Asylum has to offer, slowly people, whom I consider friends, and staff, slowly drop off.

Yes The Asylum foundation is slowly crumbling, that each key member with no apparent reason, just want to go their own separate way. Now I can't stop them, there is no contract binding them, and we don't get paid on my sanctioned photo shoots. I always believed doing what you love, makes you keep coming back - well I guess it's all about money or their own selfish reasons, connoting not in a negative way.

It's these things, that cause some disheartening in my end, Did I fail as leader?

Just not so long ago my Hair and Make-up artist, had some qualms thinking she would be fired, when she over assumed a topic about her, when it fact was a mere feedback process we want to give her since she is affiliating herself with different groups and trying to be a key figure in the group. Followed by a small rift with my graphics artist, whom I consider almost like my little sister - to the point and gave up. Getting her back was not easy, and just to make it worse, her laptop broke down where our photos are held now in limbo, with a almost a month of projects and hard work waiting to be done.

I have delayed myself for a long period of time - September, I conclude was not a good one.

As of date, I have lost my Stylist and Co-Casting Director, two of whom which are best in the industry who pivoted so much ideas, and impact to the group, and the direction as to where it's going, boils down back to me, Did I fail as leader? I could not help but think, is it my fault, on how I my work ethic is too much like a slave driver - that all I want is to achiever near perfect execution,. How does Donald Trump do it?

September is here, I just have to end it right, if it means the rise and fall of my group, or just the core key players holding on, which is me, my partner and key model, for better or worse now.

Now this September I have no lined up shoots since my original model left for Singapore, in which our theme for the month was artistic nudes, now that it was scrapped out, I am focusing my time in going to events such as Dutdutan 2014 - Tattoo Convention, and people who are thinking, I do plan to have one, and Best of Anime, with it's controversial No Ticket, No Entry policy which to some extent has been clarified or possibly listed for now. Both held this coming weekend for which I am coming in a Saturday, and ending on a Sunday - comes Monday with aches and pains - what you must do for what you love.

Starting Next month,  I will be putting my signature on my blogs, I think it looks cool, and thinking of considering migrating my photos from Facebook to Square Space - so much plans and hopefully October's shoot I can pull of the Freakshow, with no venue to pull, and wardrobe to get it going, we will wait and see of what can I come out with. I will also be taking part of my first Yukata-Kimono gathering, wondering of what I'd look like.

For now I will just stare profusely on these.... Hoping for the best despite the chaos....